So, I slept through the gym this morning (and [livejournal.com profile] argus7hills' alarm, and my alarm) and woke up feeling amazing at 9 am. Late, but oh well - apparently I needed the sleep. :) Called [livejournal.com profile] beard5 and apologized profusely (I slept through his call to me at 7:30 am, wondering where the heck I was, too), then made breakfast and headed out to work.

I'm tracking my eating again, and amazed at just how much tea I drink. Not that it's a bad thing, since the only tea I sweeten is chai, and only when I drink it with soymilk (if I'm just doing the Bigelow Vanilla Chai bags, I drink it black). But just a few short weeks ago, the seven cups of tea I'm drinking now - was Mt. Dew. *shudder* No wonder I wasn't losing any weight!

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror just now in the ladies room, and was shocked. I can actually SEE where I'm firming up. My spare tire is shrinking, slowly (hey, 120 crunches 3x a week will do that!) and my arms aren't QUITE as bat-like. I might be able to do this after all.

In another note (sorry, I'm flighty this morning), apparently drinking 5 cups of black or green tea a day will help protect you from cancer. So here's to cancer prevention.
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Tomorrow is going to be insane at work, so I'm trying to get into a zen sort of space in my head (I'm on the phones, because it will be insane). So today I'm going to do a bunch of homey stuff, and make sure I pack a really good lunch/dinner for myself and for [livejournal.com profile] argus7hills.

Good news today - after a horrible eating day yesterday (I know my nutritionist was having fits and couldn't figure out why, because all I had was sour-cream and onion chips, cookies, chex mix and one small turkey sandwich to eat, and OJ and vodka to drink), I stepped on the scale with trepidation. I didn't think I overate during Thanksgiving, but I didn't deprive myself either. Last Sunday, I weighed in at 282.5 lbs. Stepped on the scale today, peeked down...


282.0 lbs.

I LOST .5 lbs!!!! *happy dance*

So today is all about eating normally (well, as normally as turkey soup is for breakfast. With roasted broccoli on top. Mmmm, was SOOOO good), rehydrating and getting ready for tomorrow.

To-Do:
- Fold Laundry and put away
- Email edits to my last few authors
- Start cleaning office
- Write

That's it. Dinner is leftovers - we have SO much leftover food! I love it.

Oh, and I might put up the Christmas tree tonight. And turn on the lights outside.

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!
Really. :p Despite the fact that I have Thursday off, it's a long week.

First, though, the good news!

Weight today was 282.5 lbs, which is 3 lbs lighter than last week! Yay! I'm more Twittering my progress than writing it here, but I will keep updating. (The hashtag for this is #operationhealthy, if you're interested.) My nutritionist was very happy with my progress, and I've recommitted to my workouts and my food journal.

Also, I did my full workout today and did some more running, and am happy to report that knees are not complaining! Woot! I'm seriously thinking about starting the Couch to 5k workout in January, but I'm going to check with my Personal Sadist Trainer first. Don't want to be too overenthusiastic and hurt myself.

Writing - I got about 2k written on Saturday, but I won't be picking it up again until after I've gotten all the Birka stuff done, and gotten the edits for Rum and Runestones cleaned up. I have four left that are done on paper - I just need to get a chance to enter them in and then email them out.

I need, seriously, about 10 more hours a day. :P

Also, I'm hosting Thanksgiving on Thursday, which means cleaning and cleaning and more cleaning. I'm tempted to take off a little early either today or tomorrow and make the time up on Friday, so I can get this stuff done. I plan on running low on sleep until I get caught up.

The bulk of my time will be spent finishing up Birka Merchants stuff - I need to send out the remainder of the acceptances and get the folks on the waiting list an update, and I want to have that all done by Wednesday. I'll be doing some more tonight - the more I think about it, the more cutting out of here at 7 pm and getting home by 8 sounds good. That's only 1.5 hrs to make up, and I can do that by staying 30 minutes later or coming in 30 minutes earlier the rest of the week (I work a 4-10 schedule normally, 10 am to 8:30 pm Monday through Wednesday and Friday, with Thursday off, so I work normal hours this week, but I get paid for the holiday, so I'm not complaining too much!).

So Last Rites is on the back-burner and may get picked at on Thursday, in between food or after folks leave. We'll see. If I can get all of Birka done tonight (hm, almost managed to type that without sniggering!), things free up a little bit, but not much.

Ah well. Life goes on. I'll finish the damn book at some point.
This morning was hard. I'm still fighting off the effects of the flu vaccine and a cold hubby has picked up, and all I wanted to do was sleep in a little later. But I knew, if I did that, I wouldn't go Friday - I'd find yet another excuse.

I was late, I'll admit that. And I only did 16 minutes of cardio. But it's 16 minutes more than I did before, and I made the effort to go. I'm more awake now at work (sore, still, but awake), and I feel good, knowing that I set one more block into the road that I'm walking.

I'll weigh in tomorrow, I think - I know SOMETHING is happening, because I've got pants that were too tight around the middle that are now fitting wonderfully. I actually had to take off my size 26 jeans and put on 24s this weekend, because the 26s were falling off. Yay!

As of right now, my normal routine is this:

15 minutes of cardio (I usually do the stationary bike for this section)
10 minutes of either lower body or upper body strength training (depending on the day)
5 minutes of arms strength training
10 minutes of abs training (I'm up to 120 crunches!!!)
10 minutes of cardio (I usually do the treadmill for this)

It's funny, too - I find that on the days I go to the gym, I find it easier to eat better. The soda looks - not as good. Same for candy or pastries. But protein, fruit and veggies, and the Kool-Aid (I adore Kool-Aid, but I water it down way more than they say to) are amazingly yummy.

When I weighed myself last week, I was at 285 lbs. We'll see tomorrow what I weigh in at now.

The goal? To be in size 14s by the time my 10th anniversary comes around. That's approximately 2 years away. The other goal? Honestly? To run a 5k by then.
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I can't believe it's almost October. *sigh* Where did this year go?

They go faster, you know, the older you get, until one day, you're standing there with sand under your toes and it's all the sand that's run out of your hourglass, and it's on the beach and there's no way to get it back. Yuck, morbid thoughts on a Monday morning - not a good thing.

Anyways, it's been a few days since I've posted, and so it's time to update again. I took the weekend away from the internets, and it worked well - I got nearly 3k done on my Last Rites synopsis yesterday. Lots of plotty goodness, and I'm thinking I'm really getting a grip on how to end the story. I also showed the first bits of what I thought was going to be a novella in my elven world - yeah, well, let's just say that Underhill will be getting its own synopsis very shortly. I have a good beginning, but I need to refine the rest of the idea for the novel. I might cannabalize some of the plot from Treaty of Betrayal to use in this.

Weight is up a little this week - not happy about that, but it's a process and I accept that. I did make the gym twice last week, and [livejournal.com profile] beard5 and I went this morning as well. This week, the goal is three days (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). Also, we signed up for a session with Andrew, the personal trainer, to design plans for us for next Monday. My goals? Strengthen my knees and lose my belly.

Food-wise, I'm not doing that badly, although the hard cider and pizza and cinnastix yesterday did NOT help. I managed to keep my breakfast journal all week - today, I'm going to try and keep a full day's journal. I need to email my nutritionist my journal from last week - yet more accountability. I'm finding I need that.

And lastly, today I did not bring in any soda. I am going to resist buying a soda as long as possible. Today, I believe, I will start the detox.
It's been a hell of a week. We'll just leave it at that and start new, okay? Good.

I'm working on comments. I'll have them all answered by tomorrow, I hope.

Work: Mondays and Tuesdays suck, but other than that, it's been good. I actually am pretty happy where I am. Mostly because my callers (although a little nutty) don't swear at me most of the time. I used to be in Health and Insurance - this is the season where I would be working 60+ hour weeks. And while the OT pay was nice - I don't miss it. At all.

Weight: Ugh. Fell off the wagon HARD after Pennsic, and am slowly recovering. Soda habit reactivated (and Mountain Dew, no less!), but we are slowly weaning off. Minus XP points to the grocery stores around me for discontinuing Jones Cola - we hates you all! Ah well. It's mulled cider season now, and I'm going to enjoy it. Also apple season. And apple crisp season. Mmmmm. Also starting my gym attendance again, and it looks like [livejournal.com profile] beard5 might be joining me. Yay, gym buddy!

SCA: I've started Argus' Christmas present and am contemplating documenting it over on my [livejournal.com profile] captain_hobbes livejournal. [livejournal.com profile] beard5 helped me draw the pattern for the embroidery, and I'm currently tracing it out. On Tuesday, I'll be putting the first patterns onto the black twill and starting the couching. Did I mention there will be pearls, now? [livejournal.com profile] beard5 is an evil influence.

Writing: Here's where Val hangs her head. Nope. Got nothing done this week. But I have ideas. And tonight, instead of playing WoW all night, I'm going to write. I need to get Last Rites started, and I want to finish Death's Deceit. Also, I'm hosting Writer's Group this weekend and will be horribly embarrassed if I don't have anything to crit. Bad Val is bad.

This has been a long way of me saying I need to get my ass in gear. Consider it kicked.
Today, I pulled jeans on - and then realized that they were my size 24ws. Not the 26ws I thought I was pulling on. Yay! It's working!

I went yesterday to the gym after work and biked for 6.45 miles at the Planet Fitness in Manchester before going to craft night. I need to figure out where in Middle Earth I am now.

[livejournal.com profile] beard5, are you still up for Farmer's Market tomorrow? Despite the rain threatened?

Okay, found where I was in the Eowyn Challenge. Will be updating this much more regularly.

Miles to Rivendell: 426.71

Looks like we've just stopped to eat! Yay!
I also stepped on my scale this morning. I'd been up around 289 lbs last week (ah, stress is SO much fun!) so I blinked a bit when the scale said 284.6 lbs. Woot, the exercise is working!

I only managed 15 minutes on the bike this morning, but I still did it! My quads need to build up their strength - I'm not giving up, but I'm not going to injure myself either. So I've decided to work up to 5 days a week - this week, I did Monday and Wednesday and will be going Friday afternoon. I think I'm going to walk on Friday - I want to do an hour, and I KNOW my quads won't handle that.

I'm also going to go on a bike ride this weekend - I'm not sure where, or how long, but I want to explore some of the side roads around me. We're on the outskirts of our city, and I think there are some very pretty little neighborhoods.

More later.
I weighed in at my sleep study on May 7th at 296 lbs (with clothes on). We figured 3 lbs for clothing, so I was 293 lbs at that point. (HORRIFYING!) Ugh. I've never been so heavy.

I got my CPAP on the 14th, and have been using it faithfully since then (except for Quest, because I didn't have a battery yet for it). And wow. What a difference.

Biggest difference? I stepped on my scale this morning and it said:

285.8

I've lost nearly 10 lbs in a month!!!  And it's not that I've been exercising or anything out of the ordinary - I've been SLEEPING.  For the first time in years.

And when I actually sleep at night, I wake up before my alarm clock and I'm not tired.  I don't crave the high-fat, high-sugar foods that I used to - I'm craving fresh foods.  I'm even passing on things like soda.  And chocolate.

Shocking, huh?  Damn, I should have done a sleep study sooner.

I haven't given up on my donation/exercise - I just haven't had a lot of time to record it.  I'm getting back to it tomorrow, though.  I'll post the new totals then.

Guys, I feel so awesome.  I can't wait to keep on this path.
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Ah yes, it's a Monday.  I've already realized that I forgot the books to send to [livejournal.com profile] utilitygeek , I forgot the other books for my classmates, and I forgot to toast my muffin this morning, so I couldn't eat it. *headdesk*  Yep, definitely a Monday.

On the other hand, it's a glorious day, my pansies didn't die overnight, I remembered to grab my lunch and start the crockpot, and my Sebastian-kitten was amazingly cuddly this morning, so it's all good.  We'll see how cuddly he is on Wednesday, when he goes to the vet.

Busy day today - I start two classes (property law and family law), so I'll be going until 10:20 pm tonight.  I've got a to-do list, too:
  1. Do my merit writeup for work
  2. CLEAN DESK!!!!
  3. Pass around birthday card
  4. Update activity posts
  5. Update www.50millionpounds.com with my current weight
  6. Balance checkbook
  7. Start Velvet Box rewrite
Busy, busy, busy!
(x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] writersweighin)

So Wednesday afternoon, right before Thanksgiving, I met with Dr. L for the first time. It was an interesting meeting...she isn't at all like the other nutritionist I was referred to a few years ago. We spent 2 hours talking about what has worked for me in the past and what hasn't, what I'm looking for and what I'm willing to do. It was rather revealing, and I thought I'd share.

Believe it or not, I was a skinny kid, and I didn't really gain a ton of weight until I went to college. I was an active kid, and so we realized that for me, exercise is a key to losing weight and keeping it off. But at the same time, I won't do exercise for the sake of exercise - I'm just not motivated enough, believe it or not. It has to be fun. And I won't always make the time to do it. *guilty look*

Another interesting thing is that I HATE being told that a certain food or group of foods are "off-limits" - that will just make me crave them, and then I'll snap and binge. And I hate eating exactly the same thing all the time. I need variety. Luckily, I love to cook, and Dr. L is willing to work with me on this. She's already talking cookbooks!

Her big question to me was "What are you looking for as an outcome?"

My answer was, "I want to be healthy." Honestly, I don't care about what the scale says (and Dr. L said to throw my scale out, actually) - I just want to be able to do everything that I want to do. I want to be able to fence again. I want to be able to hike all day and be delightfully sore at the end of it. I want to be able to bike. I want to be able to run around all day.

I want to be able to run again one day. Right now, my doctors say that with my knee, I'll never run again. I don't believe that. I won't believe that. I will run again.

I will.

We're not meeting again until after the holidays, so I have a homework assignment to work on this December. Each week, I have to do one good thing for myself, and one good thing for myself that gets my body moving. This past week, my "good for myself" thing was spending all Sunday playing WoW. My "good for myself thing that got my body moving" was going shopping with Donna on Black Friday. We did a bunch of walking that morning, and that was good.

Other than that, at this point, I'm not doing anything "diet-like." No counting calories. No forbidden foods. No food journals. Just listen to my body and realize that when I'm not hungry, I shouldn't eat. That's it.

I haven't thrown my scale away yet, but I did only step on it once - Saturday morning, when I got up. And I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that, with the massive Thanksgiving feast we'd had...

That I was down 2 lbs from Wednesday.

WOOT!!!

More later.
I can has plans. Lots of plans.

Today, I meet with a new doctor - my nutritionist. I'm terrified, frankly. Why, in the name of all that's holy, did I decide to start a new eating way of life THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING??? I hope she's gentle. :p

But honestly? It's probably for the best. I mean, there's always "One more Thanksgiving" or "one more Christmas"...until there's not, and then you've gone, and nothing's changed. I don't want to die a fat old woman. (I don't want to die at all, but that's different.) So might as well carpe diem and get moving. Don't worry, I'll keep you all updated.

I think I'm buying an eMachine rather than the Acer - the eMachine has a better video card, and since I'm playing WoW...

Tonight is class, and I have to make up my mind on the wording of the intro to Snow (which is why I haven't sent it back yet, [livejournal.com profile] domynoe - I'm not happy with what I have. Other than that, it's done) and send that in. Then I have cases to brief for class, and sleep.

I'm so tired lately. I think it's a combination of the extra weight I'm carrying and the cold I'm fighting. Hopefully Maria and I will start working on that today.

Oh! And Puck is sitting in Manchester! I pick him up on the way to Maria's!
Which means weigh-in!

Starting weight: 291 lbs.
Current weight: 286.6 lbs
Change: 4.4 lbs

Slowly but surely, the weight is coming off. I really think breakfast is making a HUGE difference - I'm not hungry at 9 am anymore, so I'm not snacking on salty stuff. And the lessening of soda helps too.

I'm back at work, with a jug of orange-pineapple juice and lots of cold meds and tea. I did manage to bring some Lean Pockets and pomegranite seeds for lunch/dinner, so I don't have to buy anything. Go me!

And yes, I think it's the flu. I had a fever most of yesterday - it's broken today, but I feel like I've been beaten like a harp seal. Thanks for all the well-wishes.
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Even if I don't want it to be. :P

Starting weight: 291 lbs.
Current weight: 290 lbs
Change: 1 lbs

***
Dear Val,

First of all, I want to say how proud I am - even though the scale went the wrong way this morning, you're still blogging this. Good for you! Accountability and all that.

Second, don't be discouraged. Yes, we've made some bad choices this past week, but we're recognizing that trend and moving to nip it in the bud. Such as not bringing in THREE cans of soda into work in the morning - even if it is Jones Cola and therefore not full of HFCS, that doesn't mean it's good for you. One soda a day is plenty.

We also need to work on bringing lunch (and dinner on school nights), something we've been very, very bad about. Starting tomorrow (because work is buying Panera today!) we bring food. Not buy it.

The important thing is that we're working on it. We didn't get fat overnight, and we sure as hell won't get thin that way either (unfortunately). Keep making better choices and it will help.

Love,

me
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Don't ask. I'm so stressed that I'm exhausted, and when I'm exhausted, my brain gets odd.

But it's Wednesday, and that's time to weigh-in!

Starting weight: 291 lbs.
Current weight: 289.4 lbs
Change: 1.6 lbs

Not bad! I didn't weigh in last week, but I'm pretty much on goal - I want to lose 1-2 lbs a week.

I'm remembering why I hate the fall - my job stress goes through the roof, the days get shorter and colder (I hate being cold) and all I want to do is get ready to hibernate. *sigh* I'm fighting that this year by trying to drink tea exclusively - it's hard though, because I'm craving soda now like there's nothing else in the world to drink. It's also hard because I need to pack lunches, and I'm so tired that I don't want to. But today I did, for both lunch and dinner, AND I ate breakfast at home! Go me!

I have a pig roast this weekend. A medieval pig roast. I can't wait.

How's everyone else doing?
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I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine yesterday at the household Michaelmas. Her 11-yr-old daughter had been diagnosed with a similar disease to mine in the past year, and we were discussing the challenges of living with Crohn's and similar disorders. She said one thing to me that I've been saying but not doing: I'd been saying that I constantly come up with more things I "need to do" in life, and she said,

"You need to take care of you first."

She's right. If I don't take care of myself first, then the rest of the "I need to do"s don't matter. So I'm going to try, once again, to remember this.

I started last night - I came home from Michaelmas and did things that made it easier for me this morning - I made dinner for tonight (since I'm working late today), packed lunches for Argus and I, put my work clothes in my gym bag and, most importantly, went to bed at 11 pm. And didn't stress that I didn't write.

Because I can't do it all. I'm not Supergirl. I'm Val, and Val needs to learn to chill out and not take on the world all day, every day.

I weighed myself this morning, and will be continuing to do so every day. This week, I'm going to go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and I'm going to weigh myself every Wednesday morning (today is my baseline weight). I'm doing my goals one week at a time, so I don't stress myself out even more.

Starting Weight: 291 lbs.
Weight this Morning: 291 lbs.
Goal Weight: 261.9 lbs.
Goal Deadline: April 1, 2009

That's a pound a week, roughly. I'm more concerned with being healthy and getting into good habits, but if I don't have a deadline, I don't do anything.

Wish me luck!
I still have to put up the meter, but I'm done from a high of 290 lbs to 284.4 lbs this morning, in a week and a half. Go me! And that's WITH buying lunch yesterday (mmm, panini...).

No buying today - I have peanut noodles for dinner and shephard's pie for lunch (working until 8:30 pm tonight) and brussel sprouts, fresh pickles and an apple. I might get a pudding at lunch if I decide I need something a little sweeter - but I don't know. My true weakness is back in the caf - roasted garlic hummus and pretzel thins. Mmmmmmmm....

I'm on a raspberry black tea kick too. Not sure why - maybe my body is craving hot sweetness? I REALLY want apple cider - might have to stop at the grocery store tonight and get some. Hey, maybe I can bring that to the dessert pot luck tomorrow!!!

Dunno. More later.
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That's the sound of me falling over. It's been a long weekend, and it's going to be a LONG week. So this is my update - don't expect to see a lot of me in the next week.

WORK
We're on OT starting Tuesday. Here's my schedule for the week:

Monday: 8:30 am to 5:30 pm
Tuesday: 8:30 am to 7:00 pm
Wednesday: 8:30 am to 8:30 pm
Thursday: 8:30 am to 7:00 pm
Friday: 8:30 am to 8:30 pm

And next Monday is 8:30 am to 8:30 pm again. *sigh*

WRITING
Dreams continues apace. I have a good plot basis for Snow that I'm going to try and work on this week. And thanks to my darling younger brother, I have a plotbunny that is basically Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade meets Stargate SG-1, with a bit of Lord Peter Whimsy thrown in. I will write it, with him, eventually. We're thinking three books.

WEIGHT
I have a call in to a nutritionist. As I've mentioned before, the Crohns' makes losing weight difficult. I'm going to do it, though. I can't continue on like this. The goal this week, in addition to eating breakfast every morning at home, is to take lunch every day.

WEEKEND
The wedding rocked. It was fun to see everyone - my cousin Mel got married in a lovely faerytale wedding Saturday night, and we partied the way only my family can. This morning, we went over to my grandfather's house and celebrated the Pumpkin's 2nd birthday. She was in her glory and got lots of stuff and was adorable, as always. It was good to see the family; we don't get down to CT often enough.

Now I need to get busy cooking. There's a pizza I made for lunch tomorrow, but I need some more stuff to take to work to chew on. I want to make a bread tonight. I've got enough zucchini, after all! And yes, [livejournal.com profile] domynoe, I'm working on yours too! Hopefully, I'll have two minutes to breathe this week to send your box out.

Wish me luck, folks, I'm going to need it!
My iPod is amazing. Why did I wait so long to get one again?

Got Chapter 1 done last night, and started Chapter 2. I'll post metrics later tonight - for some reason, around 10 pm last night I crashed hard. Weird. Oh well.

So today's goals:

Work:
- get farther into my HR II certificate

Tonight:
- Finish Chapter 2
- Balance checkbook
- Start Chapter 3

Oh crap, I forgot to take something out for dinner. Oh well, guess we're having tacos again. >.<

**
Weight: 269.4 lbs
Days without Soda: 4
Happy March, everyone! This weekend I'm snowed in (bah, hiss, boo) on Saturday, so I'm looking forward to getting a lot done. No WoW until tomorrow night (maybe) - I played last night, so I got my fix for the week. :p Here's the list:

Saturday
- fold and put away laundry
- make a healthy dinner
- clean up iTunes so I can load the new iPod (which needs a name and is highly pastel)
- load up the iPod
- answer emails
- make cinnamon apples and pears for the week
- make shopping list and menu for the week
- make hotel reservation for Wednesday night
- write

Sunday
- go see Poor Harold (Master Harold von Auerbach for the scadians on my list) perform at the Silver Moon Creperie in Dover with [livejournal.com profile] argus7hills and Mom.
- go grocery shopping
- write
- make lunches for Monday
- prep dinners for the week

Lots to do! Wish me luck!

Weight today: 271 lbs.
Days without soda: 1 (yep, starting the detox today)
.

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