(personal) In memorandium

[vg_ford]

I went to a really nice memorial service for my friend Cheryl today. We'd lost touch after high school - she'd moved to Texas, I found out, got married, had three kids and got divorced, then moved back here and discovered she had breast cancer. She'd been a year behind me in school, but I'd forgotten that it wasn't because she was younger than me - on the contrary, she was a month older than I was, but she'd been held back one year.

The memorial service was full of music and old friends - I found out that Cheryl's cousin, my friend Chris whom I hadn't seen since, oh, graduation - had three kids of his own. Three kids. Wow. My best friend from high school now has 4 kids of her own! Of course, I was the kid going "Nah, not going to get married and have kids." Chris was shocked to hear I'd actually gotten hitched too. We had a good talk - I got to meet his wife, who wanted to learn all the annoying nicknames we called him during high school. He might take up fencing with us - I think I've got him half-talked into it.

During the service, the pastor talked about Cheryl's faith, and how she always had it, even though she didn't get baptized into the church until three weeks before she passed away. That got me thinking. I have been very, very lax lately about my faith. Honestly, I pay lip service to being a pagan, but I haven't celebrated a ritual or even lit my altar candles in a long, long time. And not because I don't believe anymore, but because I haven't made the time.

I need to rediscover my faith. Rededicate myself to me, not just to the world around me. Figure what I want from life (and no, I'm not talking about going off the deep end, divorcing argus7hills, shaving my head and running off to Mexico) and go after it.

To that end, all my LJ friends who are in the NH area are welcome to come join me for a Beltane celebration (because we might be able to see my backyard by then). I want to set up a labyrinth and walk it in the backyard. RSVP at some point in the next few months and let me know if you're interested.

I'll be doing more introspective work too, posted under the "pagan" tag (for those who just look at the tags up top), but I'm not sure what yet.

Right now, I have to get back into the saddle on this book. More later.

Comments

[hakerh.livejournal.com]

Hey now, there's nothing wrong with shaving one's head. (Says the person who kept a shaven head for nearly 2 years, by choice.)

I collect labyrinth designs if you're looking for inspiration for which pattern to walk.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'll definitely have to look at those.

And I'm not dissing shaved heads. I just think it's a major step and not one to be taken lightly. :)

[hakerh.livejournal.com]

Heh, fair enough. I did mine on a whim when I was living on Star Island, and got the island 8-year-old to take the first whack at it. I handed her the scissors and told her she could play hairdresser, and there was no turning back from there! :)

[caitlindancer.livejournal.com]

Chris who? Anyone else there you recognized? I'm sure Cheryl would have been touched to know you were there.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Chris Tuttle - her cousin?

I saw Chris, Cathy (her sister) and Tara, of course. Vicki had said she was going to go but ended up not making it.

And I met Tara's 12-year-old stepdaughter. I feel really old now.

[starlitears.livejournal.com]

I do love Beltaine!

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Beltane is fun, yes.

[aishabintjamil.livejournal.com]

When you start thinking about Beltane, don't forget our Civil Union is going to be May 3, which would be the closest Saturday.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Yep, haven't forgotten. This is in the planning stages - and I want to do an evening. maybe that Sunday, so the candles really pop.

[elfmagics.livejournal.com]

I really wish I lived closer so that I could join you. I call myself a borderline pagan and would love to learn more about it from some actual practictioners. There aren't many here in my little valley. I'll be sure and keep an eye out for your 'pagan' posts.