It's finally time. I'm heading back to my dayjob tomorrow, and I'm alternatively excited and nervous about it.
Excited, because I do love my dayjob, and I love the people I work with. I work in a lovely campus. My team really supports me. And I'll get out of the house on a regular basis.
Nervous, because I have to talk to people again. And I'll be responsible for things. And I'll be around people who haven't seen me in three and a half months, who will have to ask me how I'm doing. And for the first time in a while, I'll have to talk about Brian and how I'm doing without him.
I won't lie. Days like yesterday are hard. Really hard. I'm glad I went to the wedding, but watching Brian's brother getting married was bittersweet. Brian was there, I know he was, but he wasn't THERE. And while the roommate was wonderful, she's not him.
I have to keep looking forward. One day at a time, as the AA folks say. He's always going to be with me, and there will always be that small part of my heart that won't ever return. But I can do this. I can.
Excited, because I do love my dayjob, and I love the people I work with. I work in a lovely campus. My team really supports me. And I'll get out of the house on a regular basis.
Nervous, because I have to talk to people again. And I'll be responsible for things. And I'll be around people who haven't seen me in three and a half months, who will have to ask me how I'm doing. And for the first time in a while, I'll have to talk about Brian and how I'm doing without him.
I won't lie. Days like yesterday are hard. Really hard. I'm glad I went to the wedding, but watching Brian's brother getting married was bittersweet. Brian was there, I know he was, but he wasn't THERE. And while the roommate was wonderful, she's not him.
I have to keep looking forward. One day at a time, as the AA folks say. He's always going to be with me, and there will always be that small part of my heart that won't ever return. But I can do this. I can.