(personal) Contemplating cowardice

[vg_ford]

I've been thinking a lot lately about the Internet, and about how easy it is to post anonymously, and how much hate/discontent/hurt can be done that way. I've been trying to wrap my brain around the type of person who becomes a "troll" - be it here on LJ or elsewhere on message boards, etc. In part, this is because of some trollish comments I've seen on several friends' journals, but not completely. It's also partly because of the Megan Meier case, which horrified me on a whole other level.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I was raised to take responsibility for my words and actions. I don't think I've ever consciously commented anonymously on something - if I say it, then I've said it, dammit, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Responsibility - I feel like it's a four-letter-word.

I dunno. Did we lose it somewhere? Did we decide that we'd rather snipe at each other from the shadows, cutting each other to shreds in the dark and then putting on a false smile and stepping into the light? It just seems so...junior-highish.

And there are consequences. There are always consequences, even if you think no one can find out who you are, because your words are out there. They hurt. They cut.

They can kill.

Words can kill. Words written on a screen, signed by no one, can kill as surely as a knife to the heart. I'm all for using the power of words, but those who wield them need to do so responsibly.

Damn, there's that word again.

I'm not sure what the cure is, other than the world spontaneously getting hit by the clue-by-four and growing up. The one thing, the only thing, that I can ask is that people THINK before typing something.

Well, two things. Sign your damn name too. Don't be a coward. Own your words.

Comments

[fencerm2.livejournal.com]

I have been saying for a number of years, now, that the single biggest problem facing the country today is accountability. The goes for words, for actions, for pretty much everything. NO ONE from the top down takes responsibility for their actions - and it just makes things worse as they go on.

Dunno how to get people to be more aware and accountable for their words and actions. But I try in my own life, so maybe that's where it starts.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

There was a reporter who spoke to children right before the presidential election, asking them what they would do if they were president. One little five or six-year-old said, "I'd make everyone go stand in the corner in timeout until they can grow up and behave."

I'm still thinking that's the most coherent answer to the world's problems that I've EVER heard.

[amcnh.livejournal.com]

Personally I think that people who post anonymously can be far more vitriolic simply because its anonymous. As you pointed out they don't have to take responsibility for it. They can spew their filth, cackle and leave feeling that they've just had a refreshing colonic. When in actuality its the owner whose just got dumped on. I've seen some very horrific things said on the net anonymously. I've come to the point that if they are anonymous, they don't even get read. Period. I think the worse trolls are those that make multiple ghost accounts so that they can tag team, sorta like masturbation, they are the only ones who get off on it.
*shrugs* The Internet is a powerful tool and regretfully some use that tool to be hurtful.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Good points.

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

I'm always wondering just why they act that way. Just the other day someone was just-this-side of trolling on a post at sanfrancisco because they didn't like the city apparently spending money on frivolous stuff like putting up weather lighting on one of our tallest buildings (like the Hancock Tower in Boston). He was basically just being obtuse and calling it "debate"...

I just don't get it sometimes...

[utilitygeek.livejournal.com]

Personal responsibility? What a concept.

There is a reason my real name is in my profile.

Also:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/
(NSFW)

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

yeah, I hate the whole "I'm just bringing up another side of the debate" arguement. No, you're not. You're being a jackass and hiding behind your computer to do it.

I don't get it either.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

That's the reason I decided to use my real name as my author name and as my LJ name. It's what I say. I will own it.

[jackoutofthebox.livejournal.com]

I've always considered someone who posts anonymously to not actually be standing behind their convictions. Something similair happened to me about a year ago. The person who is here in the barony kept bringing up history but wouldn't say who they were nor contact me directly to discuss the matter/ nor even email me privately. Instead it's a way for them to make them feel big by splattering rumors and lies against folks. It's cowardly.

[barlidoc.livejournal.com]

I just hope this troll goes away for a very, very long time--like forever. I might have been lighthearted when I posted in the victim's comments, but I feel this sort of thing is beyond disgusting. You're absolutely right. Own your words. Say what you're going to say and don't hide.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Instead it's a way for them to make them feel big by splattering rumors and lies against folks. It's cowardly.

Yep. That's exactly what it is, and it's sad.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And I don't think we'll hear from that particular troll for a while - it seems to go in cycles.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Oh, and the link? FTW, totally!!!!

[zombiegoat.livejournal.com]

Cowardice says it best, I think. I have always been fairly uncensored, but I also do not go out of my way to be a prick. If somebody gets barbecued by me, you can damn sure bet they deserved it. I also sign my name, but doing it with no signature is the last refuge for people who have pathetic little lives that they take little to no joy in.

THIS JUST IN: People suck. Film at 11.

[suelder.livejournal.com]

Fwiw, I agree with cowardice, but it's also lashing out. Trolls seem to be angry people, with no outlet for that anger. Whatever the reason, they *can't* be angry at the person that they're really angry with, so they just lash out.

It's still wrong.

[mooseythehut.livejournal.com]

Agreed and seconded on everything everyone has said. But there's one other question I have to ask. I remember ranting about this recently in relation to writers and their blogs and the flame wars that so often flare up, even with the most professional, decent people...

The trolls are bad, stupid, cowardly all the rest of it, right? So why do we even care what they post? How hard is it to use the 'delete' button. The 'unfriend' button. The 'ignore permanently' button. Look. click. Gone. Never existed. LJ, Facebook, email- it's easy.

98% of the time the troll is someone we don't know irl, maybe doesn't even know our real life identity (I for one am against using real names online because we leave ourselves vulnerable to the freaks). So unless this a case where the stalker can physically harm you and knows where you live and who you are why even acknowledge their existence?

I've never been hurt by a troll because wtf do I care what some jackass with a keyboard and piss-poor spelling has to tell me? Why even let the weeds raise their head above the dirt, far less to flourish?

I think to Val's question about the cure, the answer is our choice to ignore the people who would try to hurt us. We can't change those people. We can only change how we react to them: just don't.

[mistri.livejournal.com]

I agree.

And I think a lot of what you've said applies to regular posters as well (i.e. not just anonymous trolls). And what makes me angry in particular is when people say something horrible or cruel and then excuse it by saying 'it's only the internet - it's not real - why are you taking it so seriously?'

Don't they realise it is real? That there are real people sat behind a keyboard attached to each avatar or username?

Maybe people shouldn't let such comments get to them, but sometimes they've had a bad day or whatever and a cruel jibe can be the final straw.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being opinionated, but I do think there's something wrong with feeling free to be as horrible as you want just because 'the internet isn't real'.

[mistri.livejournal.com]

You must be made of stronger stuff than others.

I admire the sentiment, but sometimes you get a trollish comment from someone you've been talking to for a long time, and their words can be unexpected and cut right to the bone. Usually I just walk away, take a deep breath and forget about it - but there are days when it is not so easy to do that.

The onus shouldn't be on us to 'take it' but on others not to be trolls in the first place. Of course they will always exist, so what you've said is a good point to bear in mind when possible.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

If somebody gets barbecued by me, you can damn sure bet they deserved it. I also sign my name, but doing it with no signature is the last refuge for people who have pathetic little lives that they take little to no joy in.

Yep. And yep.

THIS JUST IN: People suck. Film at 11.

*sigh* Too true, unfortunately.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Whatever the reason, they *can't* be angry at the person that they're really angry with, so they just lash out.

Yes, they're angry, but that still doesn't mean they can't sign their name. The Internet makes it too easy to be nasty anonymously, and that's just plain cowardice, because you don't have to take responsibility for your words.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Very true. I've only banned one person from this journal, but I've unfriended people for trollish remarks.

Honestly, I haven't gotten very many trollish remarks, mostly because I didn't allow anonymous comments for a long time on this journal. It's mostly seen in other places, at least for me. I just...I dunno. I'm trying to understand some of the mentality behind trolls.

I think to Val's question about the cure, the answer is our choice to ignore the people who would try to hurt us. We can't change those people. We can only change how we react to them: just don't.

Good point.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

And what makes me angry in particular is when people say something horrible or cruel and then excuse it by saying 'it's only the internet - it's not real - why are you taking it so seriously?'


Oh yes - I HATE this attitude. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face when you were standing there, DON'T WRITE IT ON THE INTERNET!!!!!

I'm really wondering what happened to common courtesy - I'm thinking the Internet killed it.