(advent) Day 12 – Do you know what you want?

[vg_ford]

Monday, December 12

When Lily pushed open the front door of CrossWinds Books after she, Jack, and Schrodinger had walked from school, she could almost taste the citrus in the air. They hadn’t made all the fruit into pomanders, and Molly had obviously used some of them to bake with. The sweet smell of orange mixed with the tartness of cranberries (another one of Molly’s favorites) and wrapped them in a warm hug, welcome after the cold walk.

Schrodinger and Jack had gone to meet Lily after school, since Gideon and Kaylee were already at the bookstore. Her school wasn’t that far from the downtown, but even at 3:30 in the afternoon, the feeble winter sun was already low in the sky, and the darkness lurked at the edges of the horizon. Even in a safe place like Carter’s Cove, Corrine preferred to have her daughter have some company.

If Zoey were here, it wouldn’t matter, Lily thought, sighing.

Schrodinger butted her gently on the arm with his head. What, don’t you like it when Jack and I come and get you? he asked as they went into the tea room.

“You know I do,” she said, taking her coat off and hanging off the back of her chair. She let her backpack slide underneath the table. “And it was nice to walk with you. But I miss Zoey.”

I know you do, Schrodinger said. Maybe we can try the scrying crystal again today, if you want.

She paused and considered it, then shook her head. “No, I don’t think so,” she said, and he looked up at her, surprised. Lily smiled down at him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, Schrodinger, but I realized that while seeing her would be neat, I’d rather talk to her. Mom said I could call her tonight. So that would be good. And that way, I don’t give you or me a headache.”

You’re growing wise, as the Librarian would say, Schrodinger said, and butted against her again. Promise me that you won’t grow so wise that we don’t talk anymore, okay?

Lily leaned down and hugged him.”I promise I will never grow that foolish,” she said, and he purred happily.

Don’t forget me! Jack said, and she hugged him too.

“Never.”

Once she let them go, Lily looked around. The tea room was surprisingly quiet, and she finally figured out why. Gideon and Kaylee were not in sight. The only person in the tea room was actually Steve from the Gate Station, who was reading a magazine and chewing on some of Molly’s scones. Even Goldie wasn’t around, and the pirate had been in the tea room most days.

“I wonder where everyone is?” Lily said, looking at Schrodinger and Jack. “I don’t even see Kiaya or Goldie.”

Or Molly, Schrodinger said, after trotting over and sticking his head into the kitchen. Maybe they’re upstairs?

You don’t think they did the castle without us, do you? Jack said, as the three of them climbed the staircase to the second floor.

“Molly wouldn’t let them,” Lily said confidently, and Schrodinger agreed. “But I wonder where they went?”

They weren’t upstairs either, but Aunt Margie was, in her office, and supplied the answer.

“They went out to the market to get some more sugar,” Aunt Margie said. “Molly said she needed to get some air.”

Did they go alone? Schrodinger asked, and Lily heard the note of concern in his mental voice.

“No, actually. Goldie and Kiaya went with them.” Aunt Margie looked more amused than anything at the question. “Besides, who in their right mind would attack Kaylee? They’d come out on the short end of the encounter every time.”

But Lily knew that Schrodinger was worried about Caliban, and she had to admit that she wondered if even her little sister, as fierce as she was, could take on a spirit like that.

When did they leave? Schrodinger said.

Aunt Margie looked at her watch. “Just after you did, if I remember correctly,” she said. “So they should be back soon.”

“So we can wait downstairs,” Lily said. “Come on, guys. I know how to get the tea.”

“Be careful,” Aunt Margie warned her. “You know your aunt is very specific about her kitchen.”

“I will be,” Lily assured her.

It turned out not to be necessary, though. When they got back downstairs, Molly wasn’t back yet, but Drew was in the kitchen, making himself a sandwich.

“Drew!” Lily said, throwing herself at him. “I missed you!”

“I saw you two days ago!” he laughed, accepting the hug. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Always,” she told him. “You are my favorite uncle.”

Drew grinned at her. “And you are my favorite niece, although if you tell your sister that, I’ll deny every word.”

“Would I do that?” she asked innocently, her eyes wide.

Yes, Jack said. Every chance you got.

Lily was going to reply, but then the front door opened, and in ran Kaylee and Gideon, shattering the quiet of the store. Behind them were Molly, Kiaya, and Goldie, all looking cold and more than a little frazzled.

“Lily! Jack! Schrodinger! You’re back! Now we can do the Advent calendar, yay!” Gideon shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

“Yay!” Kaylee echoed.

“Not until after we warm up, though,” Molly said, putting her bag on the island and folding herself gratefully into her husband’s welcoming arms. “It’s getting bitter outside!”

“You could have taken the Jeep,” Drew said. “Did you have to walk?”

Molly said something too quietly for Lily to hear over Gideon and Kaylee’s excited babbling, but it was apparently funny, because Drew chuckled and handed his wife a steaming mug.

“Is that tea?” Goldie said plaintively. “Can you spare some for a poor, parched sailor?”

“I think we can manage that,” Drew said, letting go of Molly to go into the pantry and get mugs for everyone. He brought them out, poured hot water into all of them, and then brought out Molly’s tea chest, so folks could pick out what they wanted.

Although Molly had a large collection of loose teas in the pantry in tins of all shapes and sizes, Pavel had given her a large chest last year for her birthday that she kept the most popular teas in. Her special Christmas blend was in there, along with a white tea that the Snow Queen loved, and Schrodinger’s favorite Earl Grey. Drew’s favorite peppermint tea was one Lily liked too, but today, she was in the mood for the white hot chocolate she knew her aunt kept in the pantry.

“May I get the hot chocolate instead?” she asked, and Molly nodded.

After everyone had warmed up, Molly cleaned up the dishes and brought out the castle. Drew joined them to help look for that day’s window, and so did Goldie, although Kiaya had gone out to the tea room to work on her book.

“Ah-ha! I do believe these old eyes have found it!” Goldie said, touching a tiny golden “12” high up on the main castle tower.

The window opened on a room with a desk, where a young person (Lily couldn’t tell the gender, as they were bent over their work) was writing busily. As they worked, their elbow knocked the envelope down from the desk. As it fell, the label detached itself and flew out the window. It landed in Goldie’s open hand.

“What does it say?” Kaylee demanded eagerly. “What are we doing?”

The pirate adjusted his glasses and peered at the scrap of paper. “Hmm, well, would you look at that?”

“What???” Gideon begged, and Lily wondered if he and her sister realized that Goldie was teasing them. “What does it say???”

Please, Schrodinger added, giving the two younger children a look. Don’t forget your manners. Even if you’re excited.

“Please?” Kaylee wheedled, tugging on Goldie’s arm. “Please read it to us?”

Goldie relented. “It says, ‘Have you figured out what you want to ask Santa for this year? No? Why not?'”

Lily realized with a start that they hadn’t written their letters yet. Usually by now, they’d be sent out via the magic mailbox upstairs in the main room of CrossWinds Books. “We need to get on that,” she said. “But how odd.”

“What?” Gideon said.

“We’re not making anything today,” Lily said, and then bit her lip, looking guiltily at her aunt.

“Sure we are,” Kaylee said, waving a hand at her sister airily. “We’re making letters! Come on!”

But as Lily followed them up the stairs to the second floor, she wondered how writing letters to Santa would help protect the Cove.

<><>

Molly sighed thankfully as quiet descended on the kitchen again. “I have no idea how Corrine and Nathan do it,” she said, looking at Drew and Goldie. “I love them dearly, but lord, they are loud sometimes!”

“Earplugs,” Drew said sagely, then ducked as Molly threw a tea bag at him. “What? Nathan told me that.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Molly said dryly. “Trust my brother to tell you that.” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t put it past him either.”

Goldie chuckled and picked up his tea. “You get used to it as you grow up with them,” he said. “My sister says she couldn’t understand it either, then she had two of her own. Now, she says she worries when it gets too quiet.”

“That’s when they’re getting into trouble,” Molly said. She looked at Goldie and asked, “Has Pavel heard anything lately?”

“Not about Caliban, other than the fact that his cousin has announced he’s no longer there,” Goldie said. “There’s been nothing about his movements, but we know his cousin isn’t lying. King Mendron himself went there. The Lady Nadine said he’d left, and there were a bunch of his things there.” He frowned. “If he’s traveling, he’s traveling alone and light.”

“Which could be good,” she said, picking up her tea mug. “When he was looking to make trouble, would he really do it alone? He didn’t strike me as the type to do lone wolf stuff.”

“I don’t know,” the pirate said. “From every word we’ve gotten, he changed in prison.”

“Most people do,” Drew said. “That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but no one knows if it’s for good or ill,” Goldie said. He picked his mug up and said, “I think I’ll go upstairs and make sure the children are doing what they’re supposed to be doing.”

Once they were alone in the kitchen, though, Molly looked at Drew, one eyebrow raised. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Do I need a reason to come and see my lovely wife?” he teased her, pulling her back into his arms.

“When you’re supposed to be working? Yes,” she said, but didn’t resist his embrace. “And don’t think I didn’t see Steve out there as well. Why are you here instead of the Station?”

“Actually, we’re on a lunch break,” he said. “Mal told us to go find something for lunch and not come back for an hour.” Drew glanced at the kitchen clock. “Which means we have about twenty minutes before we have to be back.”

“Mal threw you out? Why?” Molly pulled back a little to look at him. “Is he okay?”

“He seemed fine. Grumpy as always. But he told Steve and I to go find something to do, and not be back for an hour.” Drew shrugged. “He does that every so often. I think he likes to have the controls to himself every once in a while. And Tom and Luke are still there.”

“But it’s the Christmas season,” Molly said. She pulled away and went to the fridge. “I’ll send back some stuff with you, just in case.”

Drew watched as she quickly assembled a basket full of cranberry orange scones, ham and cheese scones, and an assortment of her cookies. “You know, he might do it just because he wanted us to bring him back some of your cooking.”

“And how would he know where you were going?” Molly said.

“Where else would I go with an hour off, on a weekday when my wife is working?”

She laughed. “Point taken.”

After Drew and Steve had left, Molly went upstairs to check on Goldie, collect any random tea cups or plates, and makes sure that everyone was set. She carried a tray with her for her aunt, who had been busy in her office most of the day.

“When is Santa coming?” she asked, after knocking on the closed office door and coming in.

Aunt Margie sighed. “I’m not sure he is this year,” she admitted. “I’ve been talking to his wife, and, well, it’s been hard to schedule it.”

“It won’t be Christmas without Santa here,” Molly said. For years, Aunt Margie had had the Jolly Old Elf in to hear the wishes of the Cove’s residents. Molly had very little doubt it was Santa Claus himself that came – although there were impersonators, the Cove’s Santa had always seemed to have knowledge that no one else did. Although how Aunt Margie had managed it had always puzzled Molly.

“I know, but he’s very busy this time of year,” Aunt Margie said. “I’m still working on it, though.” She accepted the tray thankfully. “Keep your fingers crossed.”

“Will do.”

<><>

It was colder in the Cove than Caliban had been expecting. He lay in his bed listening to the wind whistle in the eaves, and wondered what he should do now.

Not that he was currently cold. While the air outside seemed sharp enough to cut his skin to ribbons, his room in the stoutly built boarding house was snug and warm, and the bed he lay in was soft and cozy. It was a plain room, with just a bed, a small foot locker at the end of the bed to store his belongings in, and a wash basin under the single window, but it was clean, and the bed smelled sweetly of lavender and just a hint of the laundry detergent Mrs. Hoskins used. The Gate technician who had suggested the place had been right about it.

It wasn’t fancy, and the old Caliban would have sooner died on the street than ever stay here, one more stranger among a group of assorted sailors, travelers, and long-term residents that assembled in the morning and evening to eat at the table in the dining room. “Perry,” however, seemed to fit in easily the night before, eating the plain beef and vegetable stew and dark brown bread that Mrs. Hoskins dished out, and enjoyed every minute of it. Now, as he lay on top of the blankets on his bed, he smelled more bread baking, and found himself hoping it was for dinner that night as well.

He should go out, he thought to himself, but moving seemed to be hard. He’d made it downstairs for breakfast, but every time the door opened, the cold had seeped in, and Caliban shivered even now, remembering the bite of the air. That feeling brought back the memories of the dungeon, and that reminded him of his father. He wondered what Nadine had told Mendron. He’d heard, through the grapevine, that the king had gone to inspect the city after he’d left.

Maybe he does care, Caliban thought, watching an industrious spider building a web in a corner of the ceiling. The strands glistened in the sun as she wove. Then again, maybe he was just making the effort for publicity’s sake. Either way, it really doesn’t matter.

The leaf that had brought him here lay in its envelope, tucked safely in a corner of his pack in the footlocker, but he found that his inclination to find out about it was fading with every new gust of wind that rattled the window panes.

Although I think I should do something here, and not just lay abed, he thought. Mrs. Hoskins had told him when she accepted his funds that the kitchen was always open to him, if he should need a cup of tea or coffee, or a snack.

“We’re more of a family here,” she’d said, handing him three keys. “Monk says you were a good companion, and I trust him. One key for the front door, one for the door to your room, and one for your footlocker. I’ll ask for all three back when you leave, Mr. Wandell, of course. But while you’re here, please feel free to treat the house as your own. The only rooms off-limits are the family rooms, of course, but you wouldn’t need to be there anyways. There’s a front parlor that you can use, with a television and a radio, and you’re welcome to bring your own if you would like. The library books are free as well, and the Cove library does allow you to get a temporary card if you use the house address. Mrs. Henderson, the librarian, is a good friend.”

It seemed to Caliban that everyone in the Cove, or at least the dock area, was a good friend to the Hoskins. Monk, upon hearing where Caliban was going, had raved about the innkeepers, and had insisted that Caliban join him for the ride down. “Mother Hoskins is a dear soul, and the Old Cap’n is one of the best,” the giant had said. “My dad served with him for a bit, and I’ve always stayed there. They’ll treat you right, my word upon it.”

Monk had provided other information too, telling him on the ride to the docks all about the Cove and where to find work, if he was interested (which he wasn’t, not yet, anyways), where the best tea was (Molly’s tea shop, which Caliban already knew), where to buy warm clothes, and other things. Now, as he listened to the wind, Caliban realized that he needed to decide what he was going to do in the Cove.

Do I want to see Jade and Jack? Or do I want to just float for a bit? If I do go and see them, what do I want from it?

Once, he’d thought he wanted her. Wanted the Cove. Wanted a place to rule as he had never been able to rule anything, to show his father that he could be a man and do that. To show his father that he could be just as good as his brother had been.

To show him that his brother’s death hadn’t been his fault.

>Activity: Write your own letter to Santa!

Originally published at The words of Valerie Griswold-Ford. You can comment here or there.