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Hehe, I've never started a meme before, but this came up in Chat (because of a snip that made it into Dark Moon Seasons). So I'm sending this out to all my writer friends - share with us something that you'd NEVER, in a million years, submit, because it's that bad.
Here, for you, hidden behind a cut to protect the guilty, is the beginning of a short story I did with some of the characters from Belladonna Dreams lo, these many years ago. And those who have read Not Your Father's Horseman will recognize one character as well: this is the original story Rick came from (he was supposed to be Sapph's romantic foil.)
A Very Pendragon Christmas
I peered up the chimney and tried to stifle my laughter. "Don't say ANYTHING," came the sour comment from somewhere above my head.
Deke Eddings was wedged partway up in the chimney, and only his feet were visible as they hung down into the living room fireplace. HOW he'd become stuck was fairly obvious; his shoulders had become wedged when the chimney opening narrowed partway up. WHY he'd done it was the question that was plaguing me.
I pulled my head back into the living room and grinned at my cousin Kassidy and Rick Jackson, a good friend. "In my professional opinion, he's stuck," I announced.
"Thank you, doctor," Rick said, trying unsuccessfully to keep from laughing. "And what would you recommend as a cure?"
I looked appraisingly at the brick fireplace. "Well, we could yank him out..."
A muffled groan came from the fireplace.
"Let's give it a try." Kassidy took a hold of one of Deke's feet. I joined her, and Rick took the other one.
We pulled for about five minutes, to the accompaniment of Deke's moans and groans. All for naught - he was well and truly stuck.
"Could you ghost him out?" Kassidy asked, giggling.
I looked at the fireplace again, chewing my cheek thoughtfully. That was a good question.
If Deke had been Alis, or Peter, or myself, the question would have been academic. The three of us were spiritwalkers, able to transform our physical bodies to bodies of spirit, much like the ghosts that hover on the edge of our awareness.
But Deke's talents lay in other areas - pyschometry and clairvoyence. It made him very valuable to our group of psychic ghostbusters, but left him quite stuck in the chimney.
Most spiritwalkers cannot assist non-spiritwalkers into the Change, as it is calle. I'd done it, once before, with a frightened child, but not consciously, and I wasn't certain the kid hadn't been a latent spiritwalker herself. But it was worth a try.
I closed my eyes and grounded myself, triggering the internal switch that began the Change.
It's an odd, sort of melting feeling. Everything changes: all sensation of ambient temperature disappears, and there is the faintest stirrings of something, like that barest whisper of a breeze, that moves around you. Open your eyes, and everything has faded into a grey, surreal version of itself. This is the Shadowlands, the nether region between the living and the Border, beyond which is Heaven, Hell and whatever other afterlife you happen to believe in.
I drifted over to the chimney and then drifted through the stones themselves. A little mental nudge sent me drifting upwards, til I stood (or floated, as the case may be) beside Deke.
The problem was immediately obvious. He'd been worming his way up the chimney when he'd become wedged around an outcropping that now pinned one of his shoulderblades against the wall of the chimney.
-I told you you needed to lose some of those broad shoulders,- I teased him telepathically.
He winced. -Bite me, Sapph.-
I chuckled soundlessly and reached for his hand. With the little girl, I'd simply touched her and she'd shifted to spiritform. In theory, the same should hold true here, I reasoned.
Apparently not. My hand passed through his, and Deke remained solid.
Frowning, I tried again. Then I tried a different approach. Instead of reaching for his hand, I reached inside, looking for a switch similar to mine.
Nothing.
Frustrated, I dropped back down to Kassidy and Rick and Changed back. "I guess that kid was a latent," I sighed. "I can't budge him."
Rick touched the fireplace. "This is pretty solid, Sapph," he sadi. "How are we going to get him out?"
"Get who out?" Alis Richmond glided easily into the room, her green eyes curious. When Kassidy told her, she sighed and buried her face in her hands for a moment, then directed a succinct thought at Deke. -Moron.-
-If Santa can get down, I should have been able to get up, right?- he shot back defensively.
The four of us started, openmouthed, at each other for a couple of seconds and then lost it. Kassidy and I howled with laughter, Rick moaned and Alis stood shaking her head. It was typical Deke reasoning, and we all should have realized it.
Too funny. No, I never finished it, but they did get around to calling a stone mason and getting him out.
What's the writing skeleton sample hiding in YOUR closet? Hmmm??? :)
Here, for you, hidden behind a cut to protect the guilty, is the beginning of a short story I did with some of the characters from Belladonna Dreams lo, these many years ago. And those who have read Not Your Father's Horseman will recognize one character as well: this is the original story Rick came from (he was supposed to be Sapph's romantic foil.)
A Very Pendragon Christmas
I peered up the chimney and tried to stifle my laughter. "Don't say ANYTHING," came the sour comment from somewhere above my head.
Deke Eddings was wedged partway up in the chimney, and only his feet were visible as they hung down into the living room fireplace. HOW he'd become stuck was fairly obvious; his shoulders had become wedged when the chimney opening narrowed partway up. WHY he'd done it was the question that was plaguing me.
I pulled my head back into the living room and grinned at my cousin Kassidy and Rick Jackson, a good friend. "In my professional opinion, he's stuck," I announced.
"Thank you, doctor," Rick said, trying unsuccessfully to keep from laughing. "And what would you recommend as a cure?"
I looked appraisingly at the brick fireplace. "Well, we could yank him out..."
A muffled groan came from the fireplace.
"Let's give it a try." Kassidy took a hold of one of Deke's feet. I joined her, and Rick took the other one.
We pulled for about five minutes, to the accompaniment of Deke's moans and groans. All for naught - he was well and truly stuck.
"Could you ghost him out?" Kassidy asked, giggling.
I looked at the fireplace again, chewing my cheek thoughtfully. That was a good question.
If Deke had been Alis, or Peter, or myself, the question would have been academic. The three of us were spiritwalkers, able to transform our physical bodies to bodies of spirit, much like the ghosts that hover on the edge of our awareness.
But Deke's talents lay in other areas - pyschometry and clairvoyence. It made him very valuable to our group of psychic ghostbusters, but left him quite stuck in the chimney.
Most spiritwalkers cannot assist non-spiritwalkers into the Change, as it is calle. I'd done it, once before, with a frightened child, but not consciously, and I wasn't certain the kid hadn't been a latent spiritwalker herself. But it was worth a try.
I closed my eyes and grounded myself, triggering the internal switch that began the Change.
It's an odd, sort of melting feeling. Everything changes: all sensation of ambient temperature disappears, and there is the faintest stirrings of something, like that barest whisper of a breeze, that moves around you. Open your eyes, and everything has faded into a grey, surreal version of itself. This is the Shadowlands, the nether region between the living and the Border, beyond which is Heaven, Hell and whatever other afterlife you happen to believe in.
I drifted over to the chimney and then drifted through the stones themselves. A little mental nudge sent me drifting upwards, til I stood (or floated, as the case may be) beside Deke.
The problem was immediately obvious. He'd been worming his way up the chimney when he'd become wedged around an outcropping that now pinned one of his shoulderblades against the wall of the chimney.
-I told you you needed to lose some of those broad shoulders,- I teased him telepathically.
He winced. -Bite me, Sapph.-
I chuckled soundlessly and reached for his hand. With the little girl, I'd simply touched her and she'd shifted to spiritform. In theory, the same should hold true here, I reasoned.
Apparently not. My hand passed through his, and Deke remained solid.
Frowning, I tried again. Then I tried a different approach. Instead of reaching for his hand, I reached inside, looking for a switch similar to mine.
Nothing.
Frustrated, I dropped back down to Kassidy and Rick and Changed back. "I guess that kid was a latent," I sighed. "I can't budge him."
Rick touched the fireplace. "This is pretty solid, Sapph," he sadi. "How are we going to get him out?"
"Get who out?" Alis Richmond glided easily into the room, her green eyes curious. When Kassidy told her, she sighed and buried her face in her hands for a moment, then directed a succinct thought at Deke. -Moron.-
-If Santa can get down, I should have been able to get up, right?- he shot back defensively.
The four of us started, openmouthed, at each other for a couple of seconds and then lost it. Kassidy and I howled with laughter, Rick moaned and Alis stood shaking her head. It was typical Deke reasoning, and we all should have realized it.
Too funny. No, I never finished it, but they did get around to calling a stone mason and getting him out.
What's the writing skeleton sample hiding in YOUR closet? Hmmm??? :)
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