vg_ford | (personal) Musings on birthdays and life (Reply)

It’s my birthday today. Today is the last time I will celebrate a birthday in my 30s – next year is the big 4-0. I was talking to my new doctor on Thursday and you know, I don’t FEEL like I’m staring 40 in the face. I don’t even feel 30. I look at myself, and I don’t always recognize the person staring back at me, because to me, I’m still just fresh out of college. Or worse, still IN college. I feel like I should know things that I don’t. I feel that I’m still learning.

And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that’s why, in spite of a truly horrific weekend eating-wise, I’m still looking forward to my 5k race next Saturday. I have yet to run 5k outside. This will probably be my first time. I haven’t looked at the course since, um, October, when I signed up for it. But I’m still going to do it.

Why? Because I want to. I want to run outside. I want to feel free. I think I shall probably run after the Red Sox game, simply because I need to run. Will it be a great run? I don’t know yet. But it’s warm and gorgeous and dammit, I need to be outside.

I’m going to write today too. And work on the glorious new shrug that I’m making - for me. With yarn Mom and Dad got me for my birthday. I’m hoping to have it done for tomorrow, so I can wear it to work.

This past week, when I was flaring? It taught me that sometimes, it’s okay to slow down. I don’t have to bull through things, or grit my teeth and pretend I’m fine. I can have down days. I can take time to just recover.

Sometimes, 300 words is all I will get. (Especially after playing nearly 12 hours of WoW. But hey, Level 62!!!) Sometimes, I’ll get more. I won’t write as fast as others do. I write at my speed. And I write well. I run at my speed. And I run. Maybe not well, not yet, but I run.

I’m a work in progress. The only thing that will stop that progress, besides death, is me. I’m my own worst enemy sometimes. And I have to remember that any progress, even just 300 words after a marathon WoW day, or a day spent sleeping off a Crohns flare, is progress.

Happy Birthday to me.

Originally published at The words of Valerie Griswold-Ford. You can comment here or there.