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raleva31 critted my hook for Belladonna Dreams today...( More )
So I need to work in more about what a ghostwalker is, and try and get more of the twists in the plot in. *sigh* And keep it under a page in length. Not as easy as it looks.
But she's right. If you don't know that a ghostwalker can transform themselves into a ghost, and that Sapph discovers she's a Daywalker (which I realize didn't make it into the hook - bad writer!), or that Ellen is taking over and killing girls, the hook sounds...
Bland.
Bah. Back to the drawing board....
Sent in my hook for Belladonna Dreams to raleva31. I used the excellent hook that jmeadows wrote for me as a starting point, but since the book has changed since she helped me with it, I had to tweak it. Here's what I sent in:
URBAN FANTASY/Belladonna Dreams: Sapph Pendragon was one of the top ghostwalkers in the business. Then business killed four of her closest friends. When another member of her former team calls for help, though, Sapph comes out of retirement to once again wrestle with the demons of her past. What she discovers at Crosley Farms is two ghosts hell-bent on coming back from death, bringing the secrets of immortality and damnation with them. If the ghosts succeed in breaking through the World Walls, Crosley Farms will be cut off from both the Ghostlands and the mortal world, trapping Sapph and everyone with her inside. To keep the farm and her friends safe, Sapph must risk everything, including her own sanity, to meld with Rose Howard, a long-dead witch. Only the combination of her psychic talents and Rose’s magic can keep Crosley Farms from becoming her permanent home. But can she trust Rose? Or will the witch turn on her as well?
Anyone else send their's in?
raleva31. I used the excellent hook that jmeadows wrote for me as a starting point, but since the book has changed since she helped me with it, I had to tweak it. Here's what I sent in:URBAN FANTASY/Belladonna Dreams: Sapph Pendragon was one of the top ghostwalkers in the business. Then business killed four of her closest friends. When another member of her former team calls for help, though, Sapph comes out of retirement to once again wrestle with the demons of her past. What she discovers at Crosley Farms is two ghosts hell-bent on coming back from death, bringing the secrets of immortality and damnation with them. If the ghosts succeed in breaking through the World Walls, Crosley Farms will be cut off from both the Ghostlands and the mortal world, trapping Sapph and everyone with her inside. To keep the farm and her friends safe, Sapph must risk everything, including her own sanity, to meld with Rose Howard, a long-dead witch. Only the combination of her psychic talents and Rose’s magic can keep Crosley Farms from becoming her permanent home. But can she trust Rose? Or will the witch turn on her as well?
Anyone else send their's in?
.
