(personal/writing) More navel-gazing....

[vg_ford]

This is another bit of navel-gazing. If that bores you, move along. :)

I have realized two things about myself:



1. I am ambitious. I have a lot of dreams that I want to accomplish. Big dreams. Change the world dreams. I even have the plans to get there and accomplish said dreams. I want to write and publish a ton of books. I want to host a successful monthly podcast. I want to have a sparkling house. I want to lose 100 lbs.

However.

2. I am lazy. Horribly, horribly lazy. It's so much easier to eat junk food and play on the computer, rather than eat healthy and exercise. It's so much easier to play WoW rather than write or learn how to use my mixer board. It's easier to surf the Web than read books and write reviews, or go out and promote. It's easier to ignore housework than do it.

Every month or so (usually when I get my Better Homes and Gardens magazine and get fired up), I start making plans. And then I start making lists. Long lists. And then I get so overwhelmed by the length of the list that I drop it after a day or two and go back to my old ways.

Part of it, I think, is because in many ways I am a typical Aries - I'm gung-ho but ADD (ooh, look, shiny!) about just about everything. And so I do everything 110% - and get in way over my head. Obviously, I need to learn to pace myself.

So what to do?

I am list-driven. So, I start by making lists.

Personal:
1. I want to lose 100 lbs.
At a rate of 1-2 lbs a week, that's 2 years (roughly). 100 lbs would put me under 200 lbs (scary, huh? I can't believe how much I weigh at the moment) and back to a healthier weight. It would also help my other health problems come back under control. And 1-2 lbs a week is what the experts recommend as healthy weight loss.

2. I want to have a clean, organized house.
We have a lovely 3-bedroom duplex that honestly, I don't keep up as well as I should. I'm a slob. But I should be able to keep it clean enough that I'm not embarrassed to have people over.

3. I want to get into a different field, where I don't have to do customer service quite as much as I'm doing now.
This one is actually in process, since I've gone back to school. I just have to keep at it.

4. I want to pay my credit cards off.
Within 1 year, I want these PAID OFF. PAID OFF. Yes, they're both under $2k, but I don't care. I want them gone.

Writing:
1. I want an agent.
I'm getting to the point where I can't function anymore without one. However, I have to have a book to query, which leads me to...

2. I want to write the Dreams series.
I love this concept, and the more I write/dream about it, the more I enjoy it. I just have to write it.

3. I want to have a podcast.
I have the mixer board. I have the microphone. Everything is still in the box. *sigh* I just need to overcome my fear of screwing it up and go for it.

4. I want to promote more.
I need to get to more cons. I need to look and see what cons are in my area. And then I need to go to them.

5. I want to update my website.
I know I want something different (see the ADD) but I'm not sure what. Again, I have to do my research.

Obligations:
1. Elements of Fantasy
I have to get this finished. Have to. Have to.

2. Last Rites
I need to start the outlining for this (3rd book in the Horseman series). It's due next August.

3. Edgewood series
I need to start figuring this one out as well. 3 books.

4. DII Crits
2 per month, dammit! How hard can it be?

So I look at all of this, and go, "Oh man, I'll have to stop sleeping! And this doesn't include spending time with my husband, or sewing, or just hanging out with friends, or WoW, or..." and decide it's just not worth it anymore. Yeah, you get the idea.

MODERATION. Val needs to learn this.

So let's break it down a bit. Let's look at 1 week. Really, none of these are huge changes, in and of themselves. It's just all together that they become insurmountable.

Firstly, I need to focus on my health. I know I do. So what can I do to start being more healthy?

1. Exercise.
2. Cut out the soda.
3. Brown bag my lunch every day.
4. Cook healthy dinners every night, rather than stop for fast food or order out.
5. EAT BREAKFAST!!!!

What about the house?

1. Pick up after myself when I take something out.
2. Clean out one room a week.
3. Find an organizational system that works.

Bills?

1. Stick to my budget.
2. Work on methods of cutting unnecessary expenses from my life without sacrificing any quality of life.

Writing?

1. Carve out time every day to write, even if it's just on my lunch break at work.
2. Carry a notebook everywhere, so when I have some downtime, I can jot down notes.

Promoting?

1. Familiarize myself with the mixer board and paraphernalia.
2.

Obligations?

1. Set aside time each week to work on crits for DII and Writer's Group.

Broken down like that, it's not as big. I just have to make small changes and not overwhelm myself.

So here are my goals for the remainder of this month.

Health:

1. Eat breakfast every morning.

House:

1. Pick up after myself when I finish something.

Writing:

1. Carry a notebook everywhere I go.

Obligations:

1. Set aside 1 hour every other night to do either a crit or a chapter edit.

Promoting:

1. Set up the mixer board this weekend and mess around with it.

Bills:

1. Stick to my budget.



*deep breath*

I can do this. Just baby steps. Seriously. Just baby steps.

Comments

[caitlindancer.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Call me if you need to.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I might do that.

[shade53.livejournal.com]

I've always found that writing it out helps. But I'm a pretty typical Aries too... so maybe 1/4 of anything gets done - I dream big and 1/4 of big is a heck of a lot more interesting than 1/4 of doable.

You go sugs!! I'm rooting for you!


(and on that podcast - just do it - I promise I'll listen. and then you can walk me through it when I get mine and screw it all up)

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

I'm going to be pulling the mixer board out, and once I figure it out, I'll definitely help you with your podcast!

[scarlettarcher.livejournal.com]

I think also it's important to remember to simply just live life.

One thing I've learned about goals is this: They don't always happen immediately and the majority of people who find this out drop the goal and move on. I can see why lists would overwhelm you because this list you have here in this post overwhelms me too!

Actually, I have written an essay on this idea. I think you would understand it, and it might help you gain some insight into your situation if you want to read it. If not I understand, but it's on my theories into how we structure our lives and how we can possibly change them, in a different way, from a different angle. If you want me to send it to you let me know, I understand if not :) Either way is cool, but I do know you have the capability of achieving what you want to. I know this. And you do too.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

I'd love to see the essay.

And, it may not seem it, but a lot of those goals above have to do with simplifying my life. I'm a mess right now, and it's complicating everything. If I can clean some of the mess, I can slow down and simply live my life in a better way.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I like the way you broke it down. Small steps are definitely all I can take, myself, and I always feel less anxious when I see other people breaking things down into small steps, too.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Everything I've read says to go with baby steps. After all:

"The way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time."

My dad loves that saying lately.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Mmm, elephant, yummy :D

[starlitears.livejournal.com]

It seriously is just baby steps. If you take a list and focus on 1-2 things, slowly they are incorporated, and then you focus on 1-2 things in addition to that.

"Work on methods of cutting unnecessary expenses from my life without sacrificing any quality of life." - brownbagging your lunch will automatically save you money! <-- 2 goals accomplished!

I WILL help you set up your mixer board. I will be around on Sunday Afternoon.

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Coolness. I have to see when the game is on Sunday, but I might be calling you going, "OMG, what did I do???" :P

And yes, a lot of my changes are intermingled. On purpose. :)

[shellyinseattle.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's quite a list. I think just sorting through what you want enough for writing this list was a good first step.

But I think you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment if you try all of these things at once. I'd pick your top thing and go for it until it becomes a habit. Then add the next thing in. To make yourself feel good about accomplishing something, you could even choose something easy rather than something that you want the most.

And I can't speak enough about choosing appropriate rewards for yourself at small increments that work towards your ultimate goal. When I taught tae kwon do, I had a number of outsiders make fun of all the different belt levels, but you know it really helps to have something tangible like that. Preferably something that doesn't blow a budget or waistline.

Good luck tackling your endeavors!

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the rewards. I'm definitely not diving into everything, and if I only make 1 part of my goals for the rest of this month, well, it's one more than I had before! I'm looking into rewards as well - might just be something like a night off to play WoW, or something like that.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Looks like your off to a good start

[jackoutofthebox.livejournal.com]

The first thing is to be able to identify your problems and set your goals/ writing it down and defining the "how to" is a great first step.

Re: Looks like your off to a good start

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Happy Birthday, btw - I don't know if we'll make it over tomorrow because I have class.

[albathetross.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I totally know where you come from on the ambition/laziness front. I'll be rooting for you!

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *hugs*

I'm rooting for you too!

[aulus-poliutos.livejournal.com]

Cooking yourself instead of eating out will cost less money, esp. if you're eating out a lot.

I don't know if the tap water in the US is good but if it is it's the best thing to drink. Lots of tap water and tea - without sugar. Real tea (green, herbal, fruits, black, black with whatever you like to mix in, and homebrewed, not that sweet ice tea horror). Cheaper than soda, too. If you're used to sweet teas, start with fuity ones and try to leave out the sugar. You'll notice the taste of the different berries, lemongrass and whatever you fancy to put in your cup a lot better.

Good luck

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

I have a water filter at work, and I'm already a tea convert. And I can't drink it with any sweetner, unless I'm sick and my throat hurts - then it's a bit of honey.

Thanks!

[makotohanabi.livejournal.com]

In your notebook write down every penny you spend for a month. When the month is over you can see how you spend money and what to cut so you can pay off bills. I did it and saved a small fortune when I realized how much I spent on the vending machines in the office breakroom.

Not an Aries but I constantly make lists as well. I start each day with a "must do list" and if "I have time list" If you finish everything on your list and have energy you know of other things you can do, but it's not a bit deal if it says "finish chapter" and you only have time for a few paragraphs.

Good luck

[vg-ford.livejournal.com]

That's a good idea - I'll try that next month. I don't hit a lot of vending machines, but my money seems to just wander away.

Thanks!