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Well, it was warmer than last year (not that it was that hard to be warmer - but this year, we had no frost on the ground in the morning) and I didn't get sunstroke, so it was a good year.
I finally, finally got the last two quals I needed to be an MIT! So now, I'm qualled in single foil/epee, dagger and rigid parry. So I can use my buckler.
More importantly - I can now use The Irritation!* Muwhahahahaha!!!!
Okay, had to get that out of my system.
So I'm now an MIT (or I will be, as soon as Jack the Black sends me the information I need, hint, hint) and can start working on getting my marshallate. I think I'm going to MIT some of the battles at Pennsic - Jocelyn del Espada suggested this, and it sounds like a great idea. I don't really want to do any schlager until I get my new kit assembled, and I need a steel gorget anyways, so this gives me a chance to experience the battles without having to worry about getting schlager-qualled first.
We'll see.
I've also been thinking a lot about death lately. I know, I know - I'm a dark fantasy/horror writer, but this is different. In the past year or so, I've had a LOT of deaths around me, and I've started to really wonder what does happen to us after we're gone. I don't know that I can just "believe" in an afterlife. I'm too much of a reporter to suspend my disbelief that far. And yet, I'm pagan. The idea of a cycle is something that I find comfort in. How much do we remember, though? How much of "Val" will remain when I die?
What brought this out? Perhaps it's because it's Memorial Day, a day when we remember and honor those who died for our freedoms. Perhaps it was the horrific car accident that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
argus7hills and I passed on the way home yesterday. Perhaps it was just that even now, nearly 8 months later, I still come home and start to look for Max sometimes, and I still cry when I realize he won't be there.
We left the kittens home alone this weekend for the first time, and when we came back, Sebastian assured me that he thought I was gone forever. I was in the bathtub, stroking his head as he lay on the rug next to the tub, and I assured him I would always come back. But I can't really promise that, can I? I don't know anymore. And it bothers me, more than I can say.
I need to work through this. I don't know what to believe or where to turn anymore. I'm just not sure how to work through it. I don't like just turning everything over to a "higher power" - I have a problem with authority (blame it on my McFarland blood). Maybe that's why I write the kind of things I write - because I need to explain to myself what really goes on after we pass away.
Okay, didn't mean to get all maudlin on you all. I'll save my X-Men 3 critique for another post - suffice it to say, I enjoyed it, and if you go and see it, stay ALL the way through the credits. It's worth it.
*The Irritation is one of those Frodo Sting swords - it goes "sching!" every time you swing it. It's annoying as hell. It's also list-legal for rigid parry. *evil grin*
I finally, finally got the last two quals I needed to be an MIT! So now, I'm qualled in single foil/epee, dagger and rigid parry. So I can use my buckler.
More importantly - I can now use The Irritation!* Muwhahahahaha!!!!
Okay, had to get that out of my system.
So I'm now an MIT (or I will be, as soon as Jack the Black sends me the information I need, hint, hint) and can start working on getting my marshallate. I think I'm going to MIT some of the battles at Pennsic - Jocelyn del Espada suggested this, and it sounds like a great idea. I don't really want to do any schlager until I get my new kit assembled, and I need a steel gorget anyways, so this gives me a chance to experience the battles without having to worry about getting schlager-qualled first.
We'll see.
I've also been thinking a lot about death lately. I know, I know - I'm a dark fantasy/horror writer, but this is different. In the past year or so, I've had a LOT of deaths around me, and I've started to really wonder what does happen to us after we're gone. I don't know that I can just "believe" in an afterlife. I'm too much of a reporter to suspend my disbelief that far. And yet, I'm pagan. The idea of a cycle is something that I find comfort in. How much do we remember, though? How much of "Val" will remain when I die?
What brought this out? Perhaps it's because it's Memorial Day, a day when we remember and honor those who died for our freedoms. Perhaps it was the horrific car accident that
argus7hills and I passed on the way home yesterday. Perhaps it was just that even now, nearly 8 months later, I still come home and start to look for Max sometimes, and I still cry when I realize he won't be there.We left the kittens home alone this weekend for the first time, and when we came back, Sebastian assured me that he thought I was gone forever. I was in the bathtub, stroking his head as he lay on the rug next to the tub, and I assured him I would always come back. But I can't really promise that, can I? I don't know anymore. And it bothers me, more than I can say.
I need to work through this. I don't know what to believe or where to turn anymore. I'm just not sure how to work through it. I don't like just turning everything over to a "higher power" - I have a problem with authority (blame it on my McFarland blood). Maybe that's why I write the kind of things I write - because I need to explain to myself what really goes on after we pass away.
Okay, didn't mean to get all maudlin on you all. I'll save my X-Men 3 critique for another post - suffice it to say, I enjoyed it, and if you go and see it, stay ALL the way through the credits. It's worth it.
*The Irritation is one of those Frodo Sting swords - it goes "sching!" every time you swing it. It's annoying as hell. It's also list-legal for rigid parry. *evil grin*
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Anyways, not meaning to contribute to your negative funk, just trying to commiserate and say that I understand where you are coming from.
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Gosh, what maudlin thoughts I'm having tonight. And I haven't even been drinking....
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