A Light Through the Darkness

Yes, I'm okay. For the most part.

My best friend Donna's mother Florence passed away Wednesday morning, very suddenly. That's what I was posting about before. I couldn't write any more without crying, and it's hard to write this now.

I didn't know her very well, not nearly as well as I wanted to. She was one of my biggest fans - adored Horseman and read it several times cover to cover. In fact, every time I saw her, the first words out of her mouth were "How's the sequel coming?" I think she might have been more excited than I was about it.

Damn, I'm crying again, just typing this. Florence had a stroke a couple of weeks ago, her second, but we all thought she was getting better. She was starting to get movement back in her left leg and arm, and they were going to be moving her to thinner liquids (she was on what's called "honey liquids" because of the consistancy - she couldn't swallow well, so the food had to be heavy enough to get to the back of her throat, since she couldn't move her tongue). We had no idea there was any problems with her heart. In fact, they were talking about letting her come home in a few weeks.

My old computer was supposed to be for her. Donna was going to set it up in her room, so she could work on sitting up. We were going to set her up with a blog, so she could do book reviews. Florence loved to read - we all lost our best reader this past morning.

The worst thing, for me, is knowing how much she was looking forward to Dark Moon Seasons and Last Rites. And knowing that I've been putzing around on it, not finishing it, when I probably could have. Knowing that now she'll never know how the story ended.

And how she would have hated that.

Is it stupid? Yes. Can I help it?

No.

So now I have more incentive than ever to sit and write. Which is why I'm sitting at my computer now, after working a 13.5 hour day, and getting ready to open my WIP.

And the first thing I'm going to add is the dedication to the front. I'd been trying to decide what the dedication for this one will be. Now I know.

"To Florence. I'm only sorry I didn't finish in time."

Well, it was warmer than last year (not that it was that hard to be warmer - but this year, we had no frost on the ground in the morning) and I didn't get sunstroke, so it was a good year.

( More details behind the cut, to spare my flist my babbling. Also some morbid stuff that I have to get off my chest. )

Okay, didn't mean to get all maudlin on you all. I'll save my X-Men 3 critique for another post - suffice it to say, I enjoyed it, and if you go and see it, stay ALL the way through the credits. It's worth it.

*The Irritation is one of those Frodo Sting swords - it goes "sching!" every time you swing it. It's annoying as hell. It's also list-legal for rigid parry. *evil grin*