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Otherwise known as Why Val doesn't get along with fanatics of any stripe. This is yet another rant, and no, not aimed at anyone in particular, and it may get me unfriended from several people on my flist, but hell, it's my journal and I'll rant if I want to. Right? Right.
I've been thinking here (while waiting for my bathtub to unclog, which is why I'm still awake at 3:30 am EST and posting) about various issues that are bothering folks on my flist, and why I'm very, very loath to get into most of the discussions.
It's because of the fanatics and their zero-sum thinking.
I mean, really, how can you argue with the statement "Fewer guns means fewer deaths from guns"? Or "If there were no US soldiers in Iraq, our boys and girls wouldn't be dying in the desert"? Or "A woman shouldn't have to bow down to archaic societal norms that only seek to shame her into believing that her body is evil"? You can't. Why?
Because they're absolutist statements. It's an all-or-nothing statement. You either agree, or you become the enemy.
The problem with this?
This ain't a zero-sum world.
Life doesn't come at you in black and white. I'm hard-pressed at 3:30 am to come up with any issues that are simply black and white. Even things like drugs aren't black and white. (Cocaine snorted through your nose is bad. Cocaine packed around your eye after surgery is good. Cocaine in a mixture with opiates and other drugs gives comfort and pain relief to the terminally ill.) There has to be some give and take in every situation.
Fanatics, however, don't want that. In my experience, they either can't or won't accept that in order to get most of what they want, they have to give up something. We aren't animals. We're people. Rational, thinking, reasoning people.
Or at least, we're supposed to be.
You can't reason with a fanatic. It's either their way or the highway. And that's sad. Because that clinging to a zero-sum mentality means that they see everything as a battle. "I am right, therefore I must win, because only I am right, and there is no other way!" becomes their battle cry. And so no one wins. Everyone loses, because nobody was able to be a rational adult and say, "Look, here's my point of view. Here's your point of view. We've got some things in common. Let's see how we can combine them to come up with a solution that mostly works for everyone."
And folks wonder why I tend to just take my toys and go home. At least that way, I still have some toys to play with.
I've been thinking here (while waiting for my bathtub to unclog, which is why I'm still awake at 3:30 am EST and posting) about various issues that are bothering folks on my flist, and why I'm very, very loath to get into most of the discussions.
It's because of the fanatics and their zero-sum thinking.
I mean, really, how can you argue with the statement "Fewer guns means fewer deaths from guns"? Or "If there were no US soldiers in Iraq, our boys and girls wouldn't be dying in the desert"? Or "A woman shouldn't have to bow down to archaic societal norms that only seek to shame her into believing that her body is evil"? You can't. Why?
Because they're absolutist statements. It's an all-or-nothing statement. You either agree, or you become the enemy.
The problem with this?
This ain't a zero-sum world.
Life doesn't come at you in black and white. I'm hard-pressed at 3:30 am to come up with any issues that are simply black and white. Even things like drugs aren't black and white. (Cocaine snorted through your nose is bad. Cocaine packed around your eye after surgery is good. Cocaine in a mixture with opiates and other drugs gives comfort and pain relief to the terminally ill.) There has to be some give and take in every situation.
Fanatics, however, don't want that. In my experience, they either can't or won't accept that in order to get most of what they want, they have to give up something. We aren't animals. We're people. Rational, thinking, reasoning people.
Or at least, we're supposed to be.
You can't reason with a fanatic. It's either their way or the highway. And that's sad. Because that clinging to a zero-sum mentality means that they see everything as a battle. "I am right, therefore I must win, because only I am right, and there is no other way!" becomes their battle cry. And so no one wins. Everyone loses, because nobody was able to be a rational adult and say, "Look, here's my point of view. Here's your point of view. We've got some things in common. Let's see how we can combine them to come up with a solution that mostly works for everyone."
And folks wonder why I tend to just take my toys and go home. At least that way, I still have some toys to play with.
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